Maternal instincts?

When I was growing up, I heard my mother and her friends talk about 'maternal instincts', I had no idea what they were and quite frankly I didn't want to know. I was far to busy dreaming of marrying Axl Rose and going off on tour (lucky for me I didn't, have you seen him recently...).

Fast forward a good few years and I absolutely know what they are.

When you have your first child, those first few days and weeks are never quite as you imagined, its a lot tougher, breastfeeding is not so easy, the tiredness is immense but the love you feel for your little baby is unbelievable. Somehow you get through, you learn when your baby needs more food, a nappy change, to be winded etc and you do learn to understand their different cries. This is, I believe, if you don't buy any of those so called 'baby training manuals'. You know the ones by Gina Ford and her cronies.

When I was pregnant with my second child I decided to purchase her Contented Little Baby book just to see what all the fuss was about. I was rather shocked at what I read. Strict routines of when to feed the baby (and when to feed yourself, I kid you not!), when to change their nappy (that would be when its dirty Gina), when they should sleep, when you should wake them (are you kidding, wake a sleeping baby, make the bloody most of it!). While I was reading it, I thought how it does not encourage the NATURAL maternal instinct and how, in fact, it can completely destroy it. I know of mothers who cannot function without GF telling them what to do, its like living in a communist regime. Kids need to be kids and funnily enough, they do find their own routine. Its ridiculous to think that all babies need to go to bed at the same time (do adults?). It makes me so angry that some people seem to try and take away the natural parenting instincts.

Its not just GF. I remember the first health visitor for my son giving us a leaflet on how to play with your child...

So throw out all those baby manuals (and those patronising health visitors) and do it your way, it is after all, the best way.

Tidy, tidy, tidy

As a mum I find myself constantly tidying toys up. My husbands philosophy is to not bother, but I just cannot leave them strewn everywhere for all eternity (his other philosophies include, putting dirty clothes next to the laundry basket, doing the washing-up so badly he isn't asked again, creating such gems as chicken nugget curry and tuna surprise - the surprise being he added green food colouring - so he is never asked to cook again and finally, putting up smoke alarms with sellotape and if that fails, blu-tack!).

I admit that I probably am a little obsessive about tidying up toys, I just like to have a clear path in which to walk and not break my neck by slipping on a racing car. I also find it strangely therapeutic, yes I think that my life has reached the point where I am getting pleasure from putting building blocks back in the toy basket.

But on a less neurotic note, I think its great for the children that their toys keep getting put back in place, just so they can keep emptying them again!

When the little things become the big things

Before babies came along, going to bed early with a cup of ovaltine and a good book wasn't really anything special (in fact I probably would have laughed at the suggestion). But now, well I look forward to Tuesdays - husband at band practise and I get to do the above.  Bliss.

Folds of time

I am a highly emotional person and this only got worse once I became a mummy. Just looking at my beautiful boys can reduce me to tears in a second. Last night I was reading my book and started crying at this beautifully written passage (reminiscing about her now 19 year old son):

" How thin and near-transparent the folds of time are. I could almost step through them into another dimension, where the child Jasper would put his hot, sticky small hand in mine, dragging me towards the swingboats, or to ride his favourite giraffe on the little roundabout..."

My boys are still at the hot, sticky hand stage and the thought that one day they won't reach out to put their little hand in mine burns right through my heart. Time really is so precious. I used to get sick of people telling me when my first son was born to make the most of every moment because it goes so quickly, but my god, how right they all were.

Pushchairs, Push off!

I never thought that trying to find the "perfect" double pushchair would be like trying to find the holy grail. I just thought buy one and there you go. Oh no, I have now been through 4 different ones in less than a year and have now decided to go for the one I originally had that I sold after a couple of uses for a £100 loss. Yes, not the brightest spark I hear you cry, and my husband will probably be crying later when I tell him...